Rebirth and Shifting Toward What Really Matters Now
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April 26, 2020 - Devin Jones
“It’s ok to be reborn as many times as we need.” - Caroline McHugh
Recently, after seeing a birth scene in a movie, my husband mused, “it must be pretty traumatic for a baby to be born. Without much warning, they’re pushed out of their warm and cozy womb into the cold, bright, noisy world...and there’s no going back.”
When he first said this, I thought, “that’s a random and funny thought, babe.”
But, as I sit here considering his comment, I find a profound resonance with that description of birth--with the jolting experience of being ushered from womb to world.
Are you feeling the push, too?
We’ve been evicted from the comfort of our metaphorical womb (“certainty, clarity, and control”) and we’re emerging into the next evolution of our world (uncertainty, wilderness, surrender).
A week ago, I would have said, “No, give me the womb! Take me back!” I miss my “certain” life. I miss the control I had (or perceived that I had) over myself, my life, my emotions, my future.
Now, as a result of being shoved into this crisis, I’m like the baby coming into the bright white light. I’m seeing new shadows — like my obsession with control — and being invited to heal and act from a place of empowered openness not anxious control. And it’s shaking up my life in the best way possible.
When this quarantine started in the U.S., I wrote the following quote and shared it online:
Over the past 6 weeks I’ve taken a BIG dose of my own medicine.
What really matters to me has percolated to the surface:
Emotional Wellness
Freedom and Expression
Spiritual Connectedness
Intimacy with my Lover/Husband
Fun and Pleasure
Beauty and Aesthetics
Practically, this has looked like
more feeling big feelings (crying and swearing and *being with* it all),
more praying and *literally* walking with God (so many walks these days),
more laughter, connection and sex with my husband,
more silly shows and games (and less news),
more doing what I want without over analyzing (like buying a pink velvet chair yesterday because I love it and I trust the things that I love!)
and more rearranging my home (5 times to be exact) as I seek to make my space as nurturing and beautiful as possible.
And the more I’ve followed what feels really good, I also started to notice what didn’t feel good anymore.
What doesn’t feel good (to me and to so many of you who’ve been sharing your experience) is:
Fighting our emotions
Doubting our own personal experience of this crisis
Pretending we’re doing better than we actually are
Attempting to go about life “business as usual” or forcing productivity when what we really need is rest
And being a coach, leader and business owner in this season has been both a gift and a challenge.
I’ve felt called to create new resources (which you can see on my Instagram) and to support my clients even more these days, and I have been vehemently averse to launching or selling right now.
I hear the marketing gurus in my head saying, you can capitalize on this and tell people, “This “down time” is the perfect time to _____fill in the blank ‘hire a coach’ ‘figure out your calling/career/purpose’ 'set and reach new goals’.” You can’t turn on the TV today without seeing someone profiting off of this pandemic in some way.
But, I’m not letting the marketing monkeys run the show.
I knew my resistance to launching this Clarity Challenge and my new Soul Purpose Academy was happening for a reason, so I sat down with my journal to investigate.
My higher self (the most authentic, grounded, faithful part of me) said, “You know what, Devin, career clarity and purpose is not what matters right now, Devin.”
My higher self said, “in fact, "this might be a really hard time for people to “find their purpose”, because many of us are in survival mode just trying to get through another day, week or month of this quarantine.”
You’re working on maintaining your mental health, keeping your house clean, not fighting with your spouse/roommate/cat. You’re doing your best managing your emotions, moving your body, staying level-headed for your kids (if you have kids), and figuring out how to pass this time as best you can.
If my intuition is correct, most of you are not crafting your 10-year career plan at the moment.
That being said, I’ve canceled the Clarity Challenge and I’ve paused the launch of my Soul Purpose Academy. But, dear reader, please stay with me because I have something else (something richer) for you below.
The pandemic has shifted everything for us and I’m following this shift to discern what is most important for us all to learn and embody right now. Purpose and career isn’t it in this season.
Something else wants to be born..
Love wants to be born.
Yes, love. Ahhh breathe it in.
I believe what we need more than “career clarity” right now is love--love for ourselves, love for our neighbors, love for our planet.
And while I have built my business on helping women figure out their career paths; behind the scenes what I’ve really been doing is helping my clients love, trust and believe in themselves.
On the outside, it might look like each woman was simply getting a new job, or increasing her salary, or starting a business, or moving across the country but those external life changes only came about because she discovered her internal reservoir of self-love, freedom and worthiness.
I’m 1000x more passionate about helping you love yourself unapologetically than I am about helping you craft a career plan or negotiate a job offer.
But, up until now I told myself, “stay in your lane” / “Career is your thing.”
Actually, self-love is my thing. It has always been my thing, it was just wrapped up in the bow of “finding your purpose”. If you go through the last 9 months of my emails or Instagram posts you’ll see the #1 most common topic I’ve shared is self-love.
So, I guess I should have seen this shift coming ;)
The truth is, a new (even better) career may fade, your job duties will change, your awesome boss could move on, your own business might even feel lack-luster at some point, but what remains is love.
It’s not often that I quote the bible, but this verse (which I believe has universal truth) keeps coming through for me:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. … if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I [have] nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-2
Without love, we have nothing.
With love, we have everything.
So, tomorrow, rather than beginning my challenge on how to get “clarity in your career”, I’ll be sharing the first exercise in my brand new Radical Self-Love Experiment.
This experiment will be 3 days of exercises in cultivating love, compassion and tenderness for yourself.
I truly believe that developing a positive, generous and loving relationship with yourself is the beginning of everything you want in this life. The clarity, the career, the passionate love, the freedom, the adventures...all of it comes can be born when you deeply love yourself and feel worthy of that life you desire.
A New Paradigm:
Your purpose
Your happiness
Your fulfillment
Your most meaningful work
Your freedom
Your joy
...are all rooted in love.
Love is the ground from which all good things grow.
To being reborn and letting the good things grow,
Devin
*A note to anyone currently unemployed:
If you feel desperate to find employment right now I see you and I honor you. I apologize for any ways that this message may come across as irrelevant, privileged or even offensive to your current situation. Please refer to your own country/state’s policies on unemployment, reference the LinkedIn Blog for career resources and/or seek a career counselor’s support (see: LinkedIn Career Coach ProFinder).